Friday, May 8, 2009

Cowboy Rules-To my new Blogger Friend Wendie


Dear Wendie-When Rhode Island gets you down, come on out to the country...where we still believe in rules-Jane Wayne
Cowboy rules for:
Texas , Colorado , Oklahoma , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana ,
Utah , Idaho, Nevada and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.


2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.


3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.


4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10, I-40, I-70 and I-80 go east and west, I-17, I-15, I-25 and I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.


5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.


6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept......


7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.


8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.


9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.


10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.


11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.


12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah . We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!


13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.


14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.


15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.


16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!




As a true Westerner I post this because we're friendly people so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!

5 comments:

  1. LOL, I love this post! GREAT!!!!!

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  2. Great work. It's amazing how many of the values in the "flyover" country are actually values. I'm passing your entry along to my Tweeps.

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  3. funny

    Great blog you have! I found you through some other mom blogs.

    My blog contains a variety of topics. The focus is on saving money, making money, and time saving tips. Although sometimes, I enjoy just posting a random fact or something funny to cheer everyone up. We post about the practical, every day ways to save and make money.

    Check it out and feel free to use or post whatever you like. Just let others know where you found it.

    There are quite a few free things and deals in the next few days.

    Have a great day.

    www.chachingqueen.com


    Cha Ching Queen
    Helping you... Save: Money and time ~ Make: Extra cash ~ Learn: Random stuff
    New! Austin and Dallas sections

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  4. Been away for a week and just catching up on the blogs now. Thanks for the invite. After I do the laundry, we'll just re-pack our bags and head on over!

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  5. Hello People, I was on a holiday for a month just passing by read this interesting post its great to see that every thing here is getting more lively...thanks a lot for these keep them coming....




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    Britney
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